Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
