Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
