Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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