Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
