She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
