I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
