You're completely useless in the revolution.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
