Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
