It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm at about main and main street
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
