haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
