people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
