I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
