Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
