Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
