it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
