I wish life had little blips of pornography
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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