I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was born a porn star she said
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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