I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Boobs speak an international language.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
