Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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