I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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