She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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