remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
