I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
