Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
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