did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
