Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
