Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
