is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i already hear my dad disowning me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
