May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
