I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize