smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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