I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We got so high we made milksteak
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
