Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
