apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Your cock deserves a montage
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
