So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
