There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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