I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I think pants incapable of making pants work
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
