Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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