and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
