Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
