So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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