i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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