her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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