Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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