very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
