I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We need a shit load of segways right now
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
