i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
