operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
