I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
