She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
